Dear Young Woman:

It is an exciting time in your life, where you shed your high school life, probably leaving the safety and control of your parents, and venture out on your own to a university setting. You will discover a great deal about yourself, find many abilities, encounter enormous growth, and formulate acceptance of who you are. 

Your most significant danger is a lack of knowledge and training to recognize the dangers you might face. The second hurdle is difficulty understanding that some of your decisions can have long-term consequences. That is a universal limitation of 90% of the teenagers entering college, so in that regard, you are not unique.

Raped by Date Rape Drugs

Let me draw your attention by giving you a few startling statistics. Do you know why the U.S. President’s Commission on College Violence labels the time between orientation and Thanksgiving as the “red zone for entering college students?” It is the period when young women are most at risk of being raped. 

What a wonderful feeling to be invited to a party (often at a fraternity, society, or private home). You are handed a beer, and just like a grownup, you gulp it down before passing out. You didn’t know that it contained a roofie (a date rape drug) and that over 50% of all rapes reported to the police are committed using a date rape drug. 

Imagine waking up the next day in a field, having no idea how you got there or what happened in the last 24 hours. (Many date-rape drugs cause retrograde amnesia, removing all traces in your memory of what happened recently.) To make matters worse, if the boy who raped you had a sexually transmitted disease, you have it. Or, in the uncommon cases when he didn’t use a condom, you could be pregnant. As I said, there are long-term consequences. 

However, studies also find that if college women have the knowledge to be aware of the risks, their threat factor drops dramatically. Most young women are smart enough to protect themselves, **if** they are aware beforehand of the danger of certain social situations and they have the knowledge of how to defend themselves. 

STDs

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are often ignored at a young age because so few people speak of them. They are a series of infections (bacterial, viral, and parasitic) that are spread mainly through sexual contact, like vagina, anal, or oral sex. It can occur from other sources, but infrequently. The three leading concerns are chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis. The good news is they can be treated and often eradicated if caught early. But if left untreated, they can lead to many complications, including infertility and the risk of passing the disease to your children. The symptoms vary, but can include burning during urination, sores on your vagina or mouth, unusual vaginal discharges, or, even scarier, no symptoms at all. This is why regular screening for sexually active people is so highly advisable. It’s easy, protective, and allows you to live your future without concern. Do yourself a favor and Google each of the three diseases and think about precisely what the symptoms and prognosis are. Please don’t pretend it can’t happen to you, because it can. And, as statistics show, it happens more often than most people believe.

My Background

Before proceeding, I should provide a brief background about myself as the writer of this letter. Until I retired, I was an attorney and an assistant professor at the university, teaching undergraduate and graduate students in business. I also have a third-degree black belt in Ju-Jitsu and trained numerous people, including San Francisco police officers, nurses, young women, and rape victims. I have the knowledge and wisdom to offer some helpful advice. 

Credit Card Debt

Another of the many dangers is financial. Credit card companies often offer credit cards to young students. A significant number of students lack training in using credit, and as a result, many graduate from college with substantial credit card debt, as well as student loans. It will take many years to pay them off, and credit card debt carries very high interest rates. 

Leases for Apartments

There are often many issues you face when you live off campus, and our findings suggest that signing the lease is a crucial step. If four of you sign a lease on a two-bedroom apartment, and one of you flunks out of school. There could be trouble. If you can’t find a new roommate, the three of you are liable for the full rent. As an attorney, I had a case in my office involving four students who signed a lease. One flunked out, and two took off during the summer and never returned. My client, the remaining student (and her parents), were liable for the full amount, and they were never able to afford to find and use the other out-of-state tenants for their share. 

Sources of Information

I also hold a Master of Business Administration (MBA) degree, and one of the key lessons we learned was “play to your strengths and hire to your weaknesses.” If you believe your parents are qualified counselors with adequate training, you can consult with them at no cost. However, if you have financial questions that require specific answers, turn to a CPA. If you have questions, such as those related to an apartment lease, buying a car, or negotiating a bank loan, you can turn to an attorney. 

Yes, professionals are expensive, but in the long run, they can save you thousands of dollars if something goes wrong. It may be a weak analogy, but if you go away on vacation and don’t lock your front door, how much risk have you assumed? When you return from your holiday, and your house is untouched, there is almost no risk. But, if you find your front door ajar and all your possessions removed, it is a major catastrophe. 

You are buying textbooks to study world history, philosophy, sciences, or other subjects. Do yourself a favor and buy some books that will educate you on financial and sexual protections.

Helpful Newsletter and Book 

Self Defense Books. I have never particularly liked an author who promotes their book. I am not mentioning my book to make money; I would have to sell hundreds of my books to make what I made in one hour. There is a full-color edition and an inexpensive black-and-white version. I’m 79 and just trying to help. I encourage you to purchase my book on Amazon, entitled “Escape Being Raped or Attacked: Using Common Sense, Karate, and Ju-Jitsu,” because I wrote it specifically for you. (See the chapter below.)

Finance Book. Additionally, consider purchasing some personal finance books. 

Free Newsletter. I also invite you to sign up for my monthly newsletter, which covers a wide range of topics not typically covered in school. I do not sell anything on my website, nor do I have any advertising. I also do not sell or give your name to any third parties. (www.tedgordon.com).

Conclusion

Don’t be alarmed by entering a new world; almost all students have an enjoyable and uneventful time in college. If you take reasonable precautions statistically, your university life should be peaceful and pleasurable. My best wishes to you. Have a good time—use common sense.

•

Please, I urge you to read the following six pages from my book Escaped Being Raped or Attacked. The first initial pages are on date-rape drugs and how easy it is to slip them into a drink. The second is how easy it is to escape from the imprisoning holds guys sometimes think unbreakable.

 —————————————————————

Ted is a retired attorney, so he is writing only as a layperson. This article provides general information only and is not for a particular situation; it should not be construed as advice. It is provided without express or implied warranties of any kind, including but not limited to implied warranties or merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. If you have a particular problem seek advice from a CPA, attorney, or doctor. Sorry, my attorneys made me say all that!

 .